Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
- operator: 911, please hold.
- me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
- murderer: ok
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The Fault In Our Sombreros.
Nacho average love story.
it’s spelled olé not olay you illiterate fuck this ain’t the fault in our lotions
when girls posts are photo and their friend compliments them and they are just like “aw its all you babe x”
- 1: i'd fuck u hard over a table
I hate it when netflix pauses and asks me if im still watching like yeah you actually think i got up and started doing something with my life bitch put my show back on